ABC
by Nodakskip
Summary: Cordelia is ticked. Kira is calculating. And Xander Harris is


**Title:** A plus B equals C

**By:** Nodakskip

**Beta by:** Theo

**Rated:** PG 13 if that.

**Disclaimer: **All the characters in the TV universes belong to their various owners, world without end, whatever.

**Author notes:** This was written after I started watching Charisma's last Charmed episode, and a line she said made me think.

**Category: **Charmed/Buffy/Angel Crossover

**Summary:** Cordelia is pissed. Kira is calculating. And Xander Harris is never gonna know what hit him.

**Location Unknown**

**November 29th, 2004**

The room was metallic grey, with large white light panels. It was the same as the rest of the complex, and the demon woman in the skimpy purple harem girl outfit simply did not fit in at all. She had been waiting for hours, and it unnerved her.

But then, she had to wait until the entire Q & A thing with the Charmed Ones was over.

In all honesty, she'd hated to pull the wool over their eyes like that. The fake death scene, where that dummy Zankou was supposed to have vanquished her? Please. Like she hadn't seen that loser coming a mile away!

The fact was that when the Avatars had approached her, after she had foreseen what was going to happen to the world's demon population in the future, she'd quickly taken them up on their offer. To pull a fast one on the witches, so that they could be recruited for the whole 'Utopia' thing that was coming.

After all - getting to live, while the rest of the demon population was hunted down like dogs? That was a no-brainer!

The man she had been waiting for, finally came in through the simple grey door. "Are you ready?"

"Oh, you bet your kiester I am!" Kira the demonic seer said, as she stood up and adjusted her shawl. "Is everything good with the sisters?"

"Yes," the thin, bearded Avatar known only as Alpha told her. "The Charmed Ones are almost certainly on our side now."

"Great," Kira commented with a smile. "Huh. Phoebe'll get to see her daughter, after all..."

"You seemed to have come to care for what happens to them," Alpha observed.

"Well, they seemed okay..." Kira shrugged. "I mean, it WAS a little amusing when Phoebe got all jealous of my cleavage, and tried to show off her own. It's stupid, really, she's a Charmed One! One quick spell, and she could easily have more to play with-"

"That is something she would never do," Alpha told her. "As it would fall under the concept of personal gain. Something that does not work well, with white magic."

Kira frowned. "God, how could anyone live under rules like those?" She looked to Alpha. "Hey, but that won't apply to me - right?"

"Of course not, for it is as we agreed," he said. "The magic you will be left with will not be affected by personal gain, since it will be from your demon heritage."

"Well, good!"

"However, the deal is not yet done," Alpha said plainly. "You must first convince your other half to participate in this."

"Oh, please!" Kira scoffed, waving him off. "With the options she has? Trust me, it'll be an easy sell!"

"Then I will leave you to it," Alpha said, as he shimmered out - and the soul of Cordelia Chase wavered into existence where he had stood.

The dark-haired female soul was dressed in a plain white robe, with a white aura around her. "What the-? Where am I?"

"Does it really matter where we are?" Kira asked.

Cordelia spun at the sound of a voice, a voice that sounded very familiar. She had done enough audition videos to know the sound of her own voice when she heard it. And if the voice was a shock, the sight that went along with it would have caused the woman to faint at once.

Had she still had a body to faint in...

"What the hell is going on here?" Cordelia yelled, as she came face to face with herself. And her double was wearing an outfit that would have looked right at home, alongside her old outfit from Pylea. Had she not burned it, after removing all the jewels...

And yet despite all that, Cordelia was a little miffed that her doppelganger seemed to fill out the outfit much better than she would have.

"You want to know who I am," Kira told Cordelia.

"Well, duh!" Cordelia scoffed at her.

"Fine. I'm not you, and you're not me," the demon seer said, as she sat back on the chair she'd been on before. Kira then motioned to another identical chair across from her.

"Look, there are over six billion humans on the planet right now. And Lord knows how many people have existed in total, ever since humanity started walking upright! Let alone demons. Basically, there are copies of everyone everywhere, at some point. Though there are always slight differences, such as say - hair color…" Kira looked down at her breasts. "Or chest size."

"So, it's just a cosmic fluke we share the same body?" Cordelia said, disbelieving. "Then mind explaining how come you even SOUND like me?"

"I sound like you?" Kira said, annoyed. "Girl, I'm a hell of lot older than you! You're 'my' copy!"

"You're a demon, aren't you?"

"Yep," Kira said with a smile, as Cordelia sat in the other chair. "And wanna know the real kicker? I'm a seer, too! Granted, not like you, but still - it's crazy, you know?"

Cordelia just rolled her eyes. "Is there a point to any of this?" she asked the demon lookalike. "I mean - not that this isn't all kinda interesting, but apparently I'm due to get washed from existence soon. And this is NOT how I want to spend my last moments!"

"Yeah. Tough break with that, by the way," Kira said honestly. "All that time you thought you were working for the big boys upstairs - and turns out you were just a pawn getting set up to be used and abused, by Ms. Freakazoid..."

"Tough break!" Cordelia fumed. "Lady, that damned BITCH took away my life! I spent all that time thinking I was making a difference, that I mattered…and because of her, I'm just damaged goods now!"

"Jasmine's been gone for over a year, killed by your boyfriend…" Kira paused for a moment, as she saw Cordelia shudder at the notion of Connor as her boyfriend. "And after the kid took her out, the great and mighty Powers That Be washed their hands of you. You know, technically you ARE damaged goods!"

"Yeah, and they wait to tell me that I'm a lost cause, till AFTER I put Angel and the others on the path to their deaths!" Cordelia raged, as she jumped back to her feet.

"Then they decided that it was easier to just wipe the slate clean, and send you to be reincarnated..." Kira said, as she stood again as well. "Not being allowed into Heaven to be with your friends, because the Powers are afraid you might have something of Jasmine left within you. And they would rather let the Earth burn in Hell, before risking letting HER get inside the Pearly Gates-"

"Yeah, so you're a seer, I get it!" Cordelia yelled. "Hey, I'm so glad that someone else can stand there and tell me that I'm not worth the trouble of even trying to fix!"

Kira felt for the girl, well - as much as she could feel for anyone. She was still a demon, for the moment. "And since you were a servant of the Powers, the Elders can't get involved…"

"The who?" Cordelia asked as she stared at one spot on the far wall, lost in her own impending doom.

"The whitelighter Elders, more cosmic good guys," Kira told her, as she put stepped into Cordelia's line of sight. "All right, look, here's the deal. Because we're mostly the same…there is a way to prevent yourself from getting sent to the big soul recycling center up there."

That caused Cordelia to look up in surprise. "So - I'm supposed to take the word of a demon, that she can save me from the Powers That Be?"

"No, no, it won't be me doing it," Kira told her. "That would be the Avatars."

"Who?"

Kira tilted her head towards the door. "The group waiting out there. They've got tons of power, and I just did a little dog and pony for them, so some of that massive power of theirs will be used as my reward."

"And how does this have anything to do with me?" Cordelia demanded to know.

"Simple," Kira answered her. "We each have something to offer the other..."

**The main chamber of the Avatars**

**An hour later**

Alpha and Gamma were looking over the massive table they would use to keep an eye on the Utopia they would eventually create, with the addition of the Charmed Ones' powers. "They have been discussing it for some time."

Alpha looked to Gamma. "Yes, but the human will agree to it. How can she not, if she wishes to continue to exist? Her physical body was cremated by Wolfram and Hart, after all."

Gamma just nodded, as they both looked up when the door opened up - admitting the two almost identical beings.

"You have come to your decision, I take it?" Alpha asked the soul of Cordelia Chase.

"Okay, I gotta say it - I'll still be me after it's done, right?" Cordelia asked, a little afraid.

"For the most part, yes," Alpha told her. "Kira and yourself will keep all that makes you unique. But a third personality will come into being."

"She will have your warmth and kindness," Gamma told Cordelia. "And your powers and cunning," she told Kira. "It will be the both of you, yet be more than the sum of your parts."

"In any case, you will both live on," Alpha told them.

"This still sounds a little too Star Trek-y for me," Cordelia muttered. She looked towards Kira. "And when we get back to the mortal realm, what's the plan? You don't know anyone of the non-demon variety, and all my friends are dead..."

"Not all of them," Kira told her matter-of-factly.

"What?" Cordelia asked confused.

Alpha stepped aside, to let Cordelia see the magically projected image of Xander Harris walking down a street hanging over the center of the massive round table.

"Xander Harris?" Cordelia screeched in shock. "But he's dead!" She looked to Alpha confused. "I thought they said he died?"

"The Powers That Be told you that, because they didn't want you to try to contact him," Gamma said. "For the Powers, your last mission on Earth was to prepare Angel and his followers for the battle with the Black Thorn. They felt that attempting to contact anyone else - would simply distract you from that goal."

"Right, reason number 666 for me to hate them!" Cordelia growled out. "How did beings like that ever get placed in charge of anything?"

"If all goes to plan," Alpha told the upset soul. "They will not be needed any longer. Their time will be past, along with the Elders..."

"Are you prepared, then?" Gamma asked both females, as she looked at them.

"Me? You bet," Kira said gleefully, as finally she was soon going to be able to feel the grass in between her toes.

"Well, it's not like I have any other option I like," Cordelia responded.

"Then come," Alpha said, as he turned and led them to another room.

When they reached their destination a minute later, they walked into a room that held five other Avatars. As they passed them, both human and demon could see two large shelves sticking out of the metal wall. To Cordelia, it looked like the beds in an old-style sleeper car on a train she had once taken as a child.

"Kira," Gamma said as she looked to the lower shelf. "You will go here."

"And if you will allow me, Cordelia?" Alpha asked, as he looked between the girl and the top shelf.

"Oh, sure-" Cordelia said.

As soon as the words left her mouth, the former cheerleader found herself floating up and rotating till she was at the same angle and height as the top shelf. Then she was floated into the shelf, and down gently on it.

Now she rested directly over the demon, who shared her voice and body.

"Let us begin, shall we?" Alpha said to the others, as he and Gamma moved in line with their fellow Avatars.

As one, all seven Avatars let loose immense power from their hands, that bathed both Cordelia and Kira in a golden light.

The deal was actually pretty simple.

Kira had wanted to be turned human, to finally enjoy the things she'd wanted to feel that she couldn't as a demon. And Cordelia would survive in a way, as well. For a demon-turned-human would lack one thing. A soul.

The Avatars watched with no emotion as the soul of Cordelia Chase became even less solid, and passed through its shelf and fell gently into Kira's body. Now all the magic was concentrated on the still female form.

It took several minutes, much shorter than it would have with just two Avatars, for the job to be done. The Avatars then all lowered their hands at the same time. And without a word, the extra five beings in black coats left the room.

Gamma and Alpha walked over to the unconscious, but fully human female body on the bottom shelf. "Do you believe it will take long?"

"No," Alpha answered Gamma's question as he watched the new human's chest rise and fall as she breathed in air for the first time. "We can wake her now..." The male Avatar waved his right hand over the head of the former demon, causing her to wake up.

"Ahh!" she said, as the femme sucked in a deep breath.

"How do you feel?" Alpha asked her, as he held out his hand to her.

"Alive..." the new woman said in wonder, as she took the offered hand and let him pull her to her feet. She frowned for a moment, before she shivered…and when she understood, she yelled in joy. "I'm cold!"

"Your attire is rather unsuitable for keeping you warm," Gamma told her.

"I know! It's great…I'm cold!" she said with almost orgasmic glee. "I can feel cold!"

"You do not remember feeling cold before?" Alpha asked her, wondering if the Chase soul was less present than they'd thought it would be.

"I do and I don't," the brunette told him. "It's a bit weird; I know I've been cold before. But at the same time, I feel as if it's the first time I've ever felt it..."

"You will have what the humans call déjà vu for a while," Gamma said. "Eventually, it will pass as the merger stabilizes completely."

"Oh, don't worry about that!" she told the Avatar. "It's great! I can't wait to try everything…food, beer, shopping…sex!"

Gamma showed as much curiosity as an Avatar could. "You truly believe the human Xander Harris will accept you, and mate with you?"

"Of COURSE the big dweeb will!" she responded with a grin. Looking down at her large chest the former seer added, "Hell, I'll have him eating out of the palm of my hand in no time!"

"What are we to call you?" Alpha suddenly asked. "Cordelia? Kira?"

"Neither one," the brunette said. "Neither of those names really fit anymore, to be honest. You can call me…oh, I don't know, Kayla? Yeah, that'll do for now..."

"As you wish," Alpha replied. "Know this though, Kayla; there is one thing that is of great importance for you to consider. You still have much of Kira's magic power…"

Gamma picked up his sentence. "And after we create Utopia, if you use your powers in a negative way - we will remove you from existence."

**New Watcher Council Facility**

**Cape Town, South Africa**

**Late December, 2004**

Xander looked up from his paperwork in his office, when his intercom buzzed. "Yes?"

"Sir," Mary, his assistant, spoke through the speaker. "You have a visitor?"

"Send 'em in..." Xander instructed her as he closed the folder he had open on his desk. He then looked up in shock, when the door opened and in came a very familiar face.

"My God! I can't believe you have an office, let alone an assistant!" Kayla said with a grin, as she walked into the office. She was in blue jeans and a skimpy top that was tied at her waist and showed off her now-enhanced ample cleavage, way more than the outfit a part of her had worn back during her last day in LA.

"Cordy?" Xander asked startled, as he shot up from his chair.

"Yes and no," Kayla answered as she closed the door. "Look, we need to talk..."

**Cairo, Egypt**

**February, 2005**

Kayla was really starting to get annoyed.

It had been months since the essences of Kira and Cordelia Chase had joined together, and the new woman that was both of them had arrived into existence. And at first, it had been all so wonderful...

Money hadn't been a problem, due to Angel's contingency plans that Cordy had known about, and Kira's prescient knowledge. And so Kayla had indulged in everything, every little whim that had caught her fancy...

All of them, except one.

As Xander Harris had refused to accept her into his bed.

It was impossible for either aspects of her being to understand. The Cordy part knew that he wanted her, after Harris had heard the whole story and gotten over the shock factor. But the whole "part of me used to be a demon" thing, it had really pushed his demon-magnet buttons; and Xander simply KNEW that she would eventually try to kill him, if they ever got intimate.

(That damn demon that strung him up in Sunnydale!) Kayla thought with anger. (If she was not dead I would kill her myself!)

Well, they were intimate in their own way; that was why she had accompanied him on this trip to the lands of the Nile, as it was good to have backup of the mystical variety when on the lookout for demons targeting Slayers. But she wanted MORE than just friendship, damn it; and two months without getting any was long enough...

And then it happened.

Kayla could feel it, the Avatars were taking over. The end of the world was nigh, and Utopia was at hand.

In the middle of the sidewalk, she grabbed hold of Xander's hand that night - as they both fell asleep, like everyone else around them.

**Two hours later**

Kayla felt it, the instant she woke up clutching Xander's hand.

No more conflict. The paradise that Alpha and Gamma had promised her was here.

"Wha-" Xander mumbled, as he came awake. "What happened?"

"You tell me, dorkhead," Kayla said with a laugh. "Things feel different though, don't they?"

"Yeah..." Harris scratched his head. "I'm not sure how, but yeah..."

Still hand in hand, they got up and started off down the street again. And the people were already acting different, Kayla noticed. Like deep down, they weren't actually concerned about war or conflict, security or the things that went bump in the night...

"The hell with it."

Kayla grabbed Xander as they ventured into a dark side street, and was about to kiss him - when a demon attacked.

It was one huge ugly thing, one of the few scattered creatures who hadn't realized yet that this new world wouldn't tolerate their existence anymore. And while Xander dodged and raised his axe - from the description this was what had been after his Slayers, apparently - Kayla got a energy ball ready to vanquish its ass.

One screaming, flaming corpse later, and problem solved.

"Thanks," Xander said as he glanced at the beautiful creature standing alongside him. "Cordy-" The woman glared in no uncertain terms. "Sorry, Kayla. But any chance you can use the mojo, to tell me where Miriam is?"

The former demon concentrated. "On her way home to her family," she replied, referring to the missing Slayer that Harris was worried about. "She knows that she's not in danger anymore."

"Well, that's good-"

But that was all Xander managed to get out, before his companion's tongue was halfway down his throat - and her strong, lithe arms firmly clamped around him.

Then as soon as Kayla had dragged him back to their hotel and Xander realized (to his astonishment) he no longer had any hang-ups about her past, the clothes started flying - and the bedsprings constantly started squeaking.

Oddly enough, even though the Utopia promised by the Avatars didn't last long - Xander and Kayla didn't leave their hotel room, for a full three days. And by that time, the former clown and the former demon were bound together - in the 'till death do us part' sort of way.

It was everything both Cordelia and Kira, could have ever hoped for.

The End

From Charmed episode: WITCHNESS PROTECTION

PAIGE: Wait! Back up. Did you say "human"?

Kira: I know. I know. I wouldn't actually have a soul.


End file.
